Category: Death Notice(s)

< being renewed. >
Yesterday (Tuesday), the morning began with me picking Dad up in his truck and crossing the street that they didn’t make it across April 4th. Still a bit surreal every time I cross it. We headed over to get some coffee in the Cafe in the Student Center. I tell you what – so many people (faculty, staff, and students alike) have come into the Cafe to see Dad. It really touches his heart each time.

This morning (Wednesday) we went over to the Seminary cafeteria to grab some regular type breakfast before we stopped by the Cafe to get Dad some coffee. A group of his Orlando students are in town for a workshop this week. They told me that the folks who work for the Seminary guest house have been looking at them funny, because they have been asking about Dad so much. Well, they finally got to see him this morning at the Cafeteria when we went in to grab some of Sheila’s and Ms. Alice’s grits and eggs. It meant so much to Dad. They all gathered around him, like 20 of them, with a look of admiration and support. Very thankful.

Back to yesterday, when the visiting was over in the Cafe and the first cup of coffee for the day had been consumed, we headed to see Mom. When we got there, they were bathing her. We sat in the hall and waited.

When we went in, she was so lively. Still not moving much as a whole, but parts of her body are definitely showing signs of progress – except for turning her head and moving her feet and shifting her legs and slightly lifting her arms and wiggling her fingers (which is AWESOME – more everyday!). She even began to mouth a few full sentences to us yesterday, unprompted. Dad and I focused in to try to read her lips. Here’s what we could discern:

“I need some pain medicine. My bottom hurts.”
“I need to go to the bathroom.”
“Can I get over in a small chair?”

This one she said in the context of needing to go to the bathroom. She didn’t want to go in the bed. Good sign!

Finally, right before we left, she mouthed to us:

“Will you bring me some strawberry ice cream?”

We will deliver some to her today.

We are about to head that way, so I will wrap up. Just giving you an update on the logistics real quick. We should hear today news about moving Mom to another facility here in town. If we can, we will. She is not ready yet for the Brain Injury Rehab Center (the BIRC) in Orlando. They are now very familiar with Mom’s situation, and they are working with us to move toward eventually getting her there. In the mean time, we are trying to stay focused with the medical staff to help Mom’s infections and bedsores resolve. They are really a hold-up for her overall progress. The BIRC confirmed that. Please pray with us for wisdom and for the open door to move her to a facility that we feel like will work with Mom more attentively and strategically.

Dad had been a bit discouraged over the last few days, so I thought it would be fun for us to go for a drive and breathe some fresh air. After we left Mom’s yesterday, we did just that. You can read about it and see some pictures on my blog (click here to visit there). The picture attached to this post is of a steeple that was damaged from the wind and surge from Katrina. The church family is still “renewing” their campus from that storm.

We are thankful that Mom and Dad are being renewed, as well.

I will post at you later. We are about to “walker” Dad out to the truck and cross the river to see Mom. He walked with his walker more yesterday than he rode in the wheelchair. Great stuff! Keep praying. We are seeing prayers answered everyday. Mom mouthing full sentences, for instance. Dad’s heart being refreshed yesterday, for instance.

Thank you.
-jason

Don’t forget to check out Jason’s blog (http://jasoncdukes.wordpress.com/).

< first meal. >
Dad and Erik and Erin and their kids and I hit the ground running this Monday morning. Well, Dad wasn’t really running. Rolling maybe. But, Erik and his family hit the road to head back home earlier than most college students like to schedule their first class of the day. Pop and I got out of bed about the same time that they left. We got ready, headed to grab some coffee and breakfast, and hit the road across the river to see Mom.

We were up so early for two reasons – we both tend to wake up early like that, and we were scheduled to meet someone from Ochsner hospital here in New Orleans who was evaluating Mom’s “complex case” (as she put it). Windie was a huge help and had a huge heart. She spent quite some time talking with Dad and me, reading through Mom’s chart, talking with the doctors and nurses, reading Mom’s chart, talking with the therapists, reading Mom’s chart, and reading Mom’s chart. Did I mention reading Mom’s chart? It is now an epic piece of literature that rivals War and Peace in length and matches M. Night Shymalan’s works with regard to mystery and complexity. Needless to say, it took Windie a while to read through it.

Over three hours later, she came again to see Mom and Dad and me in Mom’s room. The speech therapist was finishing up with Mom, and Windie didn’t want to interrupt her (having been a speech therapist prior to her current position), so she asked us to step out into the hall. Windie told us that in her opinion, Mom is not ready for “rehab” at this time. She is, rather, in need of some aggressive acute care skilled in progressing Mom to rebound from the various setbacks that have come upon her since being at her current facility. She told us that she would call us with her suggestions later, and that Ochsner could give us a decision on a possible next step for Mom by sometime tomorrow.

We are praying for wisdom and insight, as we are trying to figure out the best next step for Mom. Should she go to more attentive acute care? Is she ready to shift toward more skilled care and therapy? Can she move to Orlando? When do we have the cranium piece replaced? Is that even possible with her current infections and situation? Price Is Right or Seinfeld reruns for Mom’s TV viewing? Important questions as we move forward. At least all but the last one.

Seriously, Dad and I watched a little TV with Mom this morning while we interacted with her. Regis and Kelly. Then, Price Is Right. Then, the beginning of the rescheduled-from-yesterday-due-to-rain-out NASCAR race. She smiled quite a bit during Price Is Right. We have watched that together in the past (before the accident a long time ago), and I always used to make Mom laugh imitating the contestant’s uber excitement. I mean, come on! Six leaps and a knock-down hug over a silver coffee urn that they picked up on clearance at Marshalls because someone (who was fired) hit “20” for quantity instead of “02” when they incorrectly ordered it?

She did light up when I asked her if she wanted me to take her to actually attend the taping of the show when she gets better. Like eyes real wide and a pretty smile and a sweet glance at me. Anyone know Drew Carey? Give us a hook up?

I digress. This isn’t CareyBridge or Caring Is Right, is it?

More fun to report, though. Mom continued to progress some this morning in her speech therapy practice. She didn’t “say” anything, necessarily, but she did mouth some stuff and make a few sounds. She made an “ah” and “buh” and “duh” and “fff” sound. On top of that, Dad and I got her to mouth seven out of eight of her grandkids’ names. The only reason she struggled with one of them, and she did try to mouth it, was because she is struggling to even mouth an “L.” We also got Mom to open her mouth wide multiple times, and we got her to blow three kisses in a row on several occasions.

That is a BIG DEAL, because that’s the way Mom and Dad always depart one another. They say, “I love you,” and lean in and give three straight quick smoochers. I do it to Jen, too. Didn’t mean to at first. Just habit I learned from them I guess. Now we do it from time to time just for fun. I like kissing her, too!!!

Mom held my hand. Not only that, she lifted BOTH ARMS!!! She lifted her right arm with control and moved her fingers. She lifted her left arm with a lot of quivering and slightly gave those fingers an awkward wiggle. Not sure if that was due to lack of strength or a long-term disability. Either way, we’ll take it!

Mom also mouthed several questions unprompted. The speech therapist saw one of them, and she was excited at that.

The therapist’s main goal today was to see how Mom would tolerate eating a little bit of easy-to-chew and easy-to-swallow food. Thankfully, we arrived in time to let the therapist know that Mom is a vegetarian. I can only imagine what Mom would have done if she had tried to stuff a sausage link or a hamburger in there. Oh man. Talk about a setback. Thanks to Jen for reminding us to remind her.

The tray arrived around 11 with some bland red beans and rice (no andouille sausage) and some steamed carrots and some thickened-like-honey sweet tea. The tea was her favorite. The beans – she mouthed, “More salt.” The carrots – couldn’t chew them. Overall, it was a good attempt. Her speech therapist concluded that Mom was not ready to tolerate that kind of meal yet, simply because of the amount of pain it caused. Mom really, really, really tried to chew and swallow it, grimacing the whole time. In the end, it was a fruitless effort.

Chocolate pudding was tried next. Success!!! At least for three bites. So, we will be trying yogurt and pudding and applesauce for “pleasure feedings” for this week. That was the conclusion. I am thinking some strawberry Marble Slab ice cream would be a real pleasure feeding. Maybe I can sneak some of that in.

In the end, her speech therapist concluded that she thinks Mom’s real issue now is her tongue. Her tracheotomy was too big, and they changed that over the weekend. Mom is more comfortable now. It was too big and impeding her vocal and swallowing activity, they determined after a test last Thursday. If you remember, Mom bit her tongue in the accident, and it had to be repaired. That is probably a bit of the issue – still healing AND hasn’t been used in some time. When we asked Mom to stick out her tongue, she grimaced BIG TIME. I asked her if that really hurt. She nodded. SO, pray for her tongue to heal and to strengthen. One of those parts of our body we don’t think much about and take for granted.

As lively as Mom was this morning, she did demonstrate some cognitive and clarity issues. Which is to be expected, by the way. We surely don’t know where Mom will return to cognitively. I am simply trying to give the whole picture.

She is clearly still struggling with processing speech requests. There is often a significant delay between her hearing the command, “Say such-and-such,” and her actually saying “such-and-such.” She at times drops out of interaction and just looks down. You have to repeat things multiple times to get her back into the interaction. Her therapist asked her how many grandkids she has, and she did not answer correctly. She seemed more like herself this morning, though. A continuation from Saturday and Sunday no doubt. Erik and Erin and Dad took such good care of her this weekend.

When we left Mom’s place, Dad and I went to grab lunch and ended up here at Starbucks. I graded some final papers from the college class I teach, and Dad made some phone calls. He just ordered his second cup of coffee (this visit). He had one early this morning, too, remember. That’s really all the update you need on him. That means he is three-quarters of the way back to his four coffees a day. Who cares about the walking stuff.

PLEASE CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR MOM AND DAD. Pray for Dad to continue to heal and have strength to get back to walking and moving. Pray for Mom’s mind to continue to heal and gain processing ability. Pray for her tongue and throat and vocals to strengthen. And, I didn’t mention them much, but pray for her two infections to be eradicated by the meds or even healed outright. Pray for her arms and legs and neck to regain strength. And pray for wisdom – for the neuro-surgeons who will decide when to replace her cramium piece and for us regarding facilities and care.

Once again this morning, Dad and I spent some time reading the Caring Bridge Guestbook while we were waiting for Mom to come back to her room from a scan. We were blown away. You all mean so much. Your prayers and notes are HUGE and push Dad forward and make Mom smile. We love you. Thanks for your love.

I will post at you tomorrow.
-jason