Author: Anna Lee

Monday Afternoon

Lettie Stevens Rushing
(July 30, 1911 – November 10, 2008)
Died at 12:15 a.m. on Monday, November 10, 2008 at Ochsner Health Center in Baton Rouge. She was a native and a resident of Amite. Age 97 years. Visitation at Kedron Baptist Church, Amite, from 6 p.m. until 9 p.m. on Tuesday and from 11 a.m. until religious services at 2 p.m. Wednesday. Services conducted by Rev. Pat Bourg and Rev. Herb Cowan. Interment Kedron Cemetery, Amite. She is survived by her 3 daughters, Mollie Turner and husband, Robert, Central, Yvonne Cutrer, Ethel, and Bettie Joe Miller and husband, Glenn, Roseland; 8 grandchildren, Dawn Bergeron, Clifton Cutrer, Sherri Skrivanos, Rob Turner, Donald Guidry, Reggie Guidry, James Guidry and Renee Casze; 12 great-grandchildren; 3 great-great-grandchildren; numerous nieces and nephews. She was preceded in death by her husband, “Cricket” Rushing; granddaughter, Jennifer Cutrer; parents, Zach and Pearl Rushing; 2 sisters, Vergie Henry and Ethel Wilson; 2 brothers, Joe Boy Stevens and Walter Stevens. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the Kedron Baptist Church Building Fund.

Tommy Earl Hicks
(April 7, 1973 – November 9, 2008)
Tommy Earl Hicks, son of Rev. Tommy R. and Margaret Lois Hicks, Independence, passed away at 4:59PM, Sunday, November 9, 2008 at Ochsner Medical Center, New Orleans. He was 35, a native of Covington and a resident of New Orleans.

Tommy is survived by his parents, Rev. Tommy R. and Margaret Lois Hicks, Independence; a sister, Lindy Hicks Cleere and husband, Robert, Baton Rouge; a son, Aiden Cole Hicks, Metairie, and Aiden’s mother, Melo Matus; 2 nieces, Alora & Averi Cleere; a nephew, Caleb Cleere; maternal grandmothers, Margaret Bryant, Covington & Frances Glass, Madisonville; and numerous extended family.

He is preceded in death by paternal grandparents, Robert & Henrietta Hicks; maternal grandfathers, Sidney Glass & Ernest Bryant.

Visitation will be at the McKneely & Vaughn Funeral Home, Amite, on Tuesday, November 11, 2008 from 6:00PM until 9:00PM and on Wednesday, November 12, 2008 from 8:00AM until Religious Services in the funeral home Chapel at 10:00AM, with Dr. Stephen P. Hicks & Bro. Chris Chavers, officiating. Interment in the Bankston Cemetery, Hwy 43, Albany, LA

Tommy’s great love for cooking and working for some of the top restaurants in New Orleans and surrounding areas. He worked for NOLA, a restaurant owned by Emeril Lagasse. He also was an avid artist, painting abstracts of New Orleans. Tommy loved fishing and his faithful companion, Floyd, his birddog.

An on-line Guestbook is available at http://www.mckneelyvaughnfh.com

McKneely & Vaughn Funeral Home, Amite, is located at I-55N & Hwy 16W next to Coggins-Gentry Ford.

Monday

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6)

Please pray for our mother (Virginia Wickham)and the rest of the family that everything go well as she will come home this morning after 3 weeks in rehab for a total knee replacement.
Jane Wickham

KneEmail
“At the name of Jesus every knee should bow…” (Philippians 2:10).
Mike Benson, Editor

I RECENTLY READ about a study that they did about the best tasting ice cream…

They did a blind taste test. They brought some people together and they got all kinds of vanilla ice cream. They got gourmet ice cream. Homemade ice cream. Brand name ice cream and even the price saver cheapo ice creams and they did the taste test to find out what factor made ice cream taste better. What they determined was that the number one determining factor in the taste of ice cream and what made people like it, it wasn’t the price of it. It didn’t matter if it was gourmet or brand name, and it wasn’t if it was homemade or not. The number one determining factor was the percentage of fat in the ice cream. In other words, the more lard that was in the ice cream, the more people seemed to like it. Now, isn’t that one of the cruel ironies of life?

Why can’t fried chicken, which happens to be my favorite food, be as good for you as an apple? I have never heard a doctor say—”A fried chicken leg a day will keep the doctor away.” And the reason they say that is because if you had fried chicken every morning for breakfast, it would probably keep the doctor nearby because your cholesterol would shoot up. I don’t know, but I guess I have to settle for apples.

This is the thing about temptation and about giving into temptation. It tastes good initially. And it feels good for a moment. But later, when we see that we have been tricked and when we realize what we have given up when we get into that temptation, we regret it. When we give in to temptation, we always regret it because in the long run we always give up something greater for instant gratification right now. (Nelson Searcy)

“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it” (1 Cor. 10:13).

Have a fantastic Monday!
Anna Lee

Sunday Evening

It’s been another busy day. I’m thankful to be able to be so busy, but sorry to be so late in getting back to The Prayer Link.

Thank God for the beautiful Lord’s Day we had. A day couldn’t be any better.

Mr. Orin Davidson, father of Naomi Tolar, is doing well in rehabilitation. Please continue to pray for him.

Mr. Bud Callihan is home and doing well. Please continue to pray for him as he gets back into his routine. Thank God for a successful surgery.

Mr. James Lee Hutchinson did not get to come home. He’s still at North Oaks. Please continue to pray for him and to pray for “Miss” Barbara too.

John Easley is out of rehabilitation and continuing to improve. Please pray for him and his family.

Glen Magee’s back surgery is tomorrow in Florida. Pray for success and improved health. Pray for Glen, Sr. as he stays with Glen in Florida and drives him home. Pray for other family members who will be waiting and praying from home in Kentwood.

Mrs. Annie Bell Harrell is still not feeling her best. Please continue to remember to keep “Miss” Annie Bell and Mr. Philip in your prayers. They will be most appreciative.

Lois Pittman has had a bout with pneumonia. She’s better. Pray she continues to improve without a setback.

Tommy Hicks, son of Rev. and Mrs. Thommy Hicks (former pastor of FBC, Amite), was removed from life support at Ochsner hospital in New Orleans this morning. Pray for this family during a difficult time.

Debbie Miller is progressing well and should be returning to work in about a week. Thank-you for your many prayers on her behalf.

Earlo LaBauve, father of Sharon Martin, is experiencing back problems. Pray he can get to feeling better so he can continue his active lifestyle.

Dr. Earl Council is still having health issues. Keep him in your prayers.

Several people are undergoing tests. Pray for them as they await results.

Deacon Hospital Ministry Team for Nov. 9-15
James Rimes
Jimmy Williams

Operation Christmas Child (Shoeboxes for gifts for needy children)
Due next Sunday
Additional forms available at the church if needed

Georgia Barnette State Missions Offering
Getting close to goal
Closing out soon

Until Monday morning . . . Anna Lee

Sunday

“Let the peoples praise You, O God; let all the peoples praise You.” (Psalm 67:5)

First Baptist Church, Kentwood – Important Days Coming Up

Nov. 16: Collection of Shoeboxes for Samaritan’s Purse
WMU @ 4 P.M.

Nov. 19: Senior Adult Thanksgiving Luncheon
Monthly Business Meeting

Nov. 23: Community Thanksgiving Service

Nov. 30-Dec. 7: Week of Pray for Lottie Moon Christmas Offering (International Missions)

Dec. 2: Supper for Deacons and Wives

Dec. 7: Deacon Widow Banquet
AWANA Christmas Party (last meeting for 2008)

Dec. 14: Missions March for Lottie Moon Christmas Offering
Children’s Musical

Dec. 17: FBC Christmas Dinner

Dec. 21: Adult Musical

Have a wonderful Lord’s Day!
Anna Lee

Saturday

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit” (Psalm 51:10-12, NKJV).

Mr. Philip and “Miss” Annie Bell Harrell are both doing better. Please continue to pray for them

If you are praying for Emily Panter, you will want to read the latest updates at http://www.emilypanter.blogspot.com/

Baptist Press
November 7, 2008
TENNESSEE–Servicemen reflect on Veterans Day. http://www.bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29290
LOUISIANA–Battle of the Bulge veteran credits God. http://www.bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29291
VIRGINIA–Military service meets Great Commission. http://www.bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29292
VIRGINIA–Military spouses keep the faith. http://www.bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29293
BRAZIL–Gospel reaches to remote Brazilian villages. http://www.bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29294
BRAZIL–In Brazil’s interior, volunteers lend a hand. http://www.bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29295
TENNESSEE–CULTURE DIGEST: Use of the word ‘Christmas’ scrutinized again. http://www.bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29296
TENNESSEE–Fireproof opening in 130 new theaters. http://www.bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29297
KENTUCKY–FIRST-PERSON (R. Albert Mohler Jr.): Pray for our new president. http://www.bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29298
THE WINDS THAT BLOW
The real estate salesman said, “This house has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I’m honest, I’m going to tell you about both. The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block north.”
“What are the advantages?” inquired the prospective buyer.
“The advantage is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing.”
It is important to know “which way the wind is blowing”. But it is also possible to allow that knowledge to affect us more than it ought to. I heard of a well-know hobo during the Great Depression of the 1930’s who was asked how he decided which direction he would go every morning. He said, “It’s easy. I find the way the wind is blowing, face away from it, and just let it blow me along.”
And it’s easy for us all to live our lives in just that way. Politicians are famous for doing it. Before taking a position, they’ll take a poll and see how many people in the country believe one way or the other. But we’re all guilty at times of allowing the “majority opinion” around us to shape who we are and what we do. It’s so easy to look around to see which direction everybody else is headed and just turn our backs to the wind and drift along. And rather than make an effort to change the world (which is very difficult), we follow the easier path of letting the world determine the direction we take.
May these words serve to remind us of what our task as Christians is:
“Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” (Romans 12:2)
Have a great day!
Alan Smith
Helen Street Church of Christ
Fayetteville, North Carolina
Enjoy a beautiful day – provided by our God.
Anna Lee

Friday

“I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever; with my mouth will I make known Your faithfulness to all generations.” (Psalm 89:1)

Please remember my family tomorrow (Friday) for an unspoken request.
Tricia McCain

The Emily Panter blog has new posts. Read and pray.
http://emilypanter.blogspot.com/

KOMpray
Kids on Mission Pray

“Let the little children come to Me, and don’t stop them, because the kingdom of God belongs to such as these,” Luke 18:16b

MAKE JESUS HAPPY

Sam is six years old. When asked how he handled hard situations Sam said, “I have three rules: number 1 – pray to Jesus, number 2 – thank Jesus, and number 3 – do devotions [spend time] with Jesus.” When his dad commented that his rules were very good, but they did not solve his problems. Sam replied, “No, but they will make Jesus happy.”

The boy makes a good point. Pray that all of us will take Sam’s rules to heart, because if you make Jesus happy, you are doing pretty well in life! SAM, age 6 (Pacific Rim)

MORE PRAYER REQUESTS FROM MISSIONARY KIDS

Please pray that the people of Angola will have better houses and more food. GABY, age 7, (Central, Eastern and Southern Africa)

Please pray that the people of Zambia would be able to grow lots of farms. Pray that the people will know GOD. CALEB, age 7, (Central, Eastern and Southern Africa)

Our dog is lost. Pray that he is safe. Pray that our national friends will know Christ. Pray that my family (in the U.S.) will not be sad about my mom and brothers coming back to East Asia. JM, age 7 (East Asia)

Please pray that I will be a good example to people. And ask God that I will get friends while I’m here in the U.S.A. Pray that I will not have any fears. LAUREN, age 11 (Middle America and Caribbean)

Please pray for the Pakistanian people. OLIVIA, age 8 (South Asia)

I think that my request is that the people in our region will be receptive to our ministry. The people might not be willing to listen, so pray that God will let them hear His words. COLESON, age 15, (Central, Eastern and Southern Africa)

Please pray for me that God will help me to play better in soccer. JONMARC, age 11 (Pacific Rim)

My brother doesn’t have many friends and he needs more. Please pray for both of us to make more friends. JORDAN, age 11 (South Asia)

Please pray for my next door neighbor that he will figure out who Christ is and that he will read the Bible. ELIAS, age 9 (Pacific Rim)

JAHANKA OF SENEGAL, GUINEA AND THE GAMBIA (jah-HONK-kay). Water–critical for life–but too much or two little of it can be devastating. Many Jahanka people live and grow their crops near the Gambia River. This year there has been so much rain upstream that the river has flooded. Most Jahanka families have at least two fields: one close to the river to take advantage of the rich soil there and another on higher ground. This year all the fields close to the river have been flooded and the crops ruined. This is the third year in a row they have had some type of problem with their crops. Pray that their need will make them more sensitive to the gospel message, and that their physical needs will be met in such a way that God is glorified and the gospel is spread. http://www.jahanka.org/

MISSIONARY PERSONAL NEEDS. A missionary team in one country has been dealing with a variety of medical issues over the last year. One member has had foot problems and had surgery. Another member has suffered with a knee injury and had one surgery and is planning a second operation in the coming months. One team member just lost their father to illness and is working through this with their family. Yet another member has had ongoing symptoms for a couple of years with no cause found. All this has caused distraction in the work and the time that each desires to be with their people group. Please pray that the Lord will give healing from these injuries. Ask Him to give comfort to those who are grieving. Pray that the cause of unexplained health complaints will be found. Most of all, ask that God will be glorified in all this as the workers seek to reflect God’s goodness in the midst of these trials.

Baptist Press
November 6, 2008

CALIFORNIA–‘Historic’ campaign scored Prop 8’s win in Calif. http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29277

TEXAS–3-minute testimony leads 1,600 to Christ. http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29278

LOUISIANA–Seminary serves as voting location. http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29279

WASHINGTON–Southern Baptists in Congress return to D.C. http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29280

WASHINGTON–Court weighs FCC ‘fleeting’ obscenities fines. http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29281

TEXAS–Hawkins: Markets have mountaintops, valleys. http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29282

TEXAS–FIRST-PERSON (Richard Ross): Young people & the ’08 election. http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29283

Roger Fowler “Blondie” Conger
A retired oilfield drilling consultant, he passed away Wednesday, Nov. 5, 2008, at the Tangi Pines Nursing Home in Amite. He was born Jan. 6, 1921, in Quitman, Texas, located in Wood County. Visitation at Charlet Funeral Home in Zachary on Thursday. Nov. 6, was from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. Visitation will continue at First Baptist Church in Baker on Friday, Nov. 7, from 9 a.m. until service 10 a.m. with burial to follow in Azalea Rest Cemetery, Zachary. He was a member of the First Baptist Church in Baker and a resident of the Baker-Zachary area for the past 12 years. Formerly married to Ellen Barbin Conger of Baker. He was a decorated veteran of World War II, having served in the 96th Infantry Division of the U.S. Army in the Pacific Theater. A combat veteran of the battles of Leyte Gulf and Okinawa, he earned the Bronze Star for heroic service under fire and the Purple Heart for wounds received under fire. These honors aside, he was most proud of having been a combat infantryman in the service of his country. He graduated from Quitman High School in Quitman in 1939 and began working in the oilfields of east Texas as a roughneck for Rowan Drilling Co. After the war he returned to work for Rowan in west Texas and later transferred to Louisiana as oilfield exploration moved across the Gulf Coast and into offshore waters. He worked on some of the earliest drilling tender operations in the Gulf of Mexico for Rowan in the late 1950’s until his retirement in 1974 as a rig superintendent in New Orleans. He began work for Gulf Oil Corp. as a company man and continued until 1979 when he retired and formed his own oilfield consulting company. During his years as a consultant he was afforded the opportunity to supervise the drilling of many deep wells requiring his well control expertise. He became a member of the “4-mile deep” club while drilling deep wells in the Tuscaloosa Trend in the Baton Rouge area for operators including the late “Doc” Pennington, Louisiana Land and Exploration and Amoco. He retired completely in 1995. He was preceded in death by his father, Robert F. Conger; mother, Minerva Elizabeth Stevenson; and two brothers, Lloyd A. Conger and Paul Conger. He is survived by a daughter and three sons and their families, Ann Conger Mueller of Fresno, Calif., Russell Paul Conger Sr., of Amite, Robert Mark Conger, of Prairieville and Steven Luke Conger, of Gretna. He had 10 grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren. He was a life member of the Military Order of tile Purple American Heart Association, the National Rifle Association, the Combat Infantry Association, the 96th Infantry Division “Deadeyes” Association, the American Legion and the Veterans of Foreign Wars. Grandpa was truly a one of a kind man. You always knew what Grandpa believed in. He always told it how he saw it, and at the end of the day, you would be proud to know him. He will be sorely missed by all. Share sympathies, condolences and memories at http://www.charletfuneral home.com.

Emily M. Baglio
(June 24, 1917 – November 5, 2008)

Died at 11:19 a.m. on Wednesday, November 5, 2008 at North Oaks Medical Center in Hammond. Age 91 years. She was a native and a resident of Independence, LA and a member of Mater Dolorosa Catholic Church. She is survived by her husband, Tony Baglio, Independence; son, Anthony B. Baglio and wife, Margaret Varisco Baglio, Independence; numerous nieces and nephews. She was preceded in death by her parents, Mario and Mary Marretta; brother, Vito Marretta. Visitation at Mater Dolorosa Catholic Church, Independence, from 8 a.m. until religious services at 10 a.m. Friday, November 7, 2008. Services conducted by Deacon Nat Garafola. Interment Colonial Mausoleum, Independence.

Sometimes little children are smarter than adults. Let’s review a six-year-old’s rules for solving problems.
1 – pray to Jesus,
2 – thank Jesus
3 – do devotions [spend time] with Jesus
That’s from a very wise child! Let’s remember Sam’s rules.
Anna Lee

Thursday

“And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment.” (Philippians 1:9)

Mrs. Parmys Stegall is now in rehab in Covington. She is scheduled to come home by the end of the week. Mr. Bob’s eye surgery is still on hold. Please continue to pray for this couple.

Barbara Gaines of Roseland is having surgery. Pray for her during this time of hospitalization and recovery.

Mr. Orin Davidson is now in rehabilitation in Kentwood. Mrs. Sudie Phillips is in rehabilitation in Hammond.

Nedra Hurst Carter will soon be having surgery. Pray for her and her family during this time.

Mr. James Lee Hutchinson has improved while at North Oaks. He should be able to return home by the end of the week.

Pray for Debbie Miller as she sees her cardiologist again this morning. Debbie seems to be doing very well.

Continue to pray for David Lockwood and his family as they deal with his illness.

November 16th is the deadline for Operation Christmas Child (shoeboxes for needy children). How many will you and/or you class package for distribution? Contact the church office or me if you need more information.

Baptist Press
November 5, 2008

WASHINGTON–Obama gains historic win; conservatives wait. http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29270

WASHINGTON–Obama administration could radically change landscape on social issues. http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29277

CALIFORNIA–Calif. passes Prop 8, giving pro-family groups landmark win; Ariz. & Fla. adopt amendments. http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29278

TENNESSEE–No victories on pro-life initiatives. http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29271

ARKANSAS–Ark. passes ban on unmarried adoptions. http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29279

WASHINGTON–Gambling foes win 3 of 6 state ballots. http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29272

TENNESSEE–Marijuana made inroads in 2 states Nov. 4. http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29273

ALABAMA–Democrat wins race between 2 deacons. http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29274

WASHINGTON–FCC opens ‘white space’ despite protests. http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29275

TENNESEE–FIRST-PERSON (Richard Land): An open letter to President-elect Barack Obama. http://bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=29276

THE LIVING DEAD

During an Army war game a commanding officer’s jeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck.

“Sorry sir,” said one of the loafers, “but we’ve been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn’t contribute in any way.”

The C.O. turned to his driver and said, “Go drag a couple of those dead bodies over here and throw them under the wheels to give us some traction.”

War games are not the only places that you can see a bunch of “dead” bodies walking around. In fact, we live in a world of the “living dead”. Paul wrote,

“And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world….” (Ephesians 2:1-2a)

Did you notice that? We were dead while we walked the way the world walks. This death was not a separation of the spirit from the body, but a separation from God.

Praise be to the One who has the power to bring the dead (both spiritual and physical) back to life!

Have a great day!

Alan Smith
Helen Street Church of Christ
Fayetteville, North Carolina

I hope your week is going well so far.
Anna Lee

Wednesday

“Lord, I have called daily upon You; I have stretched out my hands to You.” (Psalm 88:9b)

Glenn Magee, Sr. and Glen Magee, Jr. are leaving today for Florida where Glen, Jr. will have back surgery. If all goes well, they should be back in five days. Pray for them as they are away and for the family members who will stay here and continue their normal activities.

Mrs. Lee (Martina) Hall of Arcola is in the hospital at Greensburg. Pray the doctors will be able to give her the help she needs.

Pray for our country as we go through the transition to a new president and his administration.

WEDNESDAY WINDOW ON THE WORLD – November 5, 2008

MOSSI OF COTE D’IVOIRE (MOH-see). Thank you for interceding for those who are hearing stories about Jesus from missionary apprentices Mike and Heather McAfee. The McAfees write: “Some of the participants in our group should be able to complete the story set this month and will then be faced with a life-changing decision. Those who are eager to hear the Jesus stories have become especially dear to us. One man in particular never ceases to amaze us with his exclamations as the stories unfold. He gasped as Abraham drew the knife to sacrifice Isaac, he was horrified at the sins of Israel’s leaders, he wanted to know if the Messiah had come after hearing the prophecies of Isaiah, and he beamed with joy when the baby Jesus was embraced in joy before the temple as the promised Savior. He begs us to continue with the next story in the set. It is all we can do to keep ahead of him as we prepare each story in French. Pray with us that he and other Muslims in the city of Abidjan will come to see Jesus as their Savior and not just one among many prophets.” mhmcafee95@yahoo.com

RUSSIAN-SPEAKING PEOPLE OF UFA, RUSSIA (oo-FAH). Please pray for Team Ufa members as they turn in paperwork this month for new visas and work on paperwork to gain temporary residency that will allow them to remain inside Russia for up to three years without costly visa expenses, so that they can continue incarnating a Christian witness. http://www.hope4ufa.com/

PERSIANS OF IRAN (PURR-zhuns). A bill recently went before the Iranian parliament to mandate the death penalty for Muslims convicted of apostasy, and it passed by an overwhelming majority. Just days before the vote, two Iranian Christians were charged with apostasy. Denouncing Islam is now officially a capital offence, but judges are free to decide what penalty will be given. The lives of these two men and many others hang in the balance. Pray for these two men and countless others in Iran who follow Christ as they potentially face significant penalties. Ask God to protect Muslim-background believers in Iran, and pray that they will stand strong against tremendous pressure to return to Islam. http://centralasia.imb.org/

How will
your children remember you?
By Tim Ellsworth

JACKSON, Tenn. (BP)–An unusual obituary ran in a California newspaper in August.

It was an obit for 79-year-old Delores Aguilar in the Times-Herald of Vallejo, Calif. Her daughter Virginia Brown was the writer.

“Delores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life,” Brown wrote about her mother. “I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.”

What a way to be remembered, huh?

A columnist from another local paper, John Bogert of the Daily Breeze, went searching to determine if the obit was legitimate or a hoax. Sadly, he verified its authenticity and even spoke to Brown about why she wrote what she did.

“I wanted to do the right thing, the honest thing,” Brown told Bogert. “When she died a co-worker gave me a copy of an obituary she wrote for her father as a kind of writing guide. What struck me was how my mother was none of the things I was reading. She was never there for us, she was never good and she left no legacy.”

The other day I picked up a copy of the book “A Nickel’s Worth of Skim Milk,” by Bob Hastings. Hastings was a Baptist minister and served for several years as editor of the Illinois Baptist newspaper. The book is the story of Hastings as a boy, growing up in Southern Illinois.

My childhood experiences differed considerably from his. He was a child of the Great Depression. I was a child of the 80s.

Still, there’s something warm about reading the stories of others as they were growing up — especially if the memories they are sharing are fond ones. While reading his book, I delighted to experience the accounts Hastings told of his boyhood. His parents made life happy for him, despite the tough economic circumstances.

Some of the stories he told made me smile. He recalled how at Christmas every year, his father would kill one of their chickens. His mom would dress it and dry it, and then they wrapped the bird up securely and packaged it in a box. His dad then took the chicken to the post office and mailed it to Hastings’ sister in St. Louis.

“We sent what we could, and I always sensed that the package was tied by cords of love,” Hastings wrote.

Reading Hastings’ childhood stories made me appreciate the fact that over the next few years, I’ll be largely responsible for the memories my own children will be making. Those memories will accompany them throughout their lives.

Will the thoughts they conjure up 50 years from now be recollections that make them smile? I’m fairly confident their memories will never be as bitter as Brown’s are of her mother. But am I doing all I can to brighten their days and fill their lives with joy?

Too often I find myself tempted to shortchange my children to pursue my own selfish interests. Rather than playing with my son, it’s easier for me to plop down and watch a ballgame. Rather than reading a Winnie the Pooh book to my daughter for the 52nd time, it’s easier for me to piddle around on the computer — doing stuff that I’d like to think is important.

As sad as Delores Aguilar’s obituary is, and as extreme of an example as it is, it’s a potent reminder nonetheless for those of us who are parents. What will our children say about us when we’re gone?

May my children never be tempted to say about me what Brown said about her mother at the obituary’s end: “There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.”

(Tim Ellsworth is director of news and media relations at Union University.)

Anna Lee