Saturday

The feelings were a little scarey for me looking back at our last three hospitals stays up there and of course the very last one was much like the visit we had yesterday.  There was this voice inside of me that said…..”What if he relapses again like last time?”.

The truth is that Don has been sick for such a long period of time now that one begins to expect it and it is like sitting on the edge of your seat most of the time not knowing what is going to happen next.  Don has been in the hospital so many times, it has become a way of life for us.  When I tell people how many times he has been in a hospital over the last 11 months they look at me in horror.  And we have a young child as well as you know who has been through this too.

So, when the doctor looked at us yesterday and said with excitment in her voice that she sees improvement.  That she says he is  getting well.

She said some more time it will take, but he will teach again.  She said she does not wake up in the middle of the night wondering what she “missed” with the findings for Don anymore.  She can sleep knowing he will get better.

She continued to say that we need to put this behind us and go forward.  We need to continue to press forward.  She is an advocate for us going to Mayo to see this specialist to help with the dizziness, but it was so apparent to her that even that was improving.

It has not sunk in as of yet all that she saId to us yesterday.  But as I was sharing this with a friend of mine today, she burst out saying” Praise God!”

As Josh puts it:  It feel like it has been 10 thousand years since his daddy has been ill.  But Joshua has seen the grace of God.  Joshua has seen you all come around us and minister to us in a way that can only come from God.  Joshua has seen the church reach out to us in amazing ways to rescue us from falling off the edge.  And I have been humbled to see God’s hand upon us when I did not have the strength.

We are still pretty tired and weary now and it will take time for us to recover.  But God’s mercy and grace will be upon us through this too.  We take one day at a time.  I still don’t know what the outcome for us will be on many levels.  But that is Ok.  We will make it though this as a family.

And more importantly Don will be with us on the other side of this.  His body, mind and soul will heal.  He has been through the most difficult part of this.  We almost lost him.

And now I can begin to do life with a renewed hope and a faith that is more honest and real.  Not because of anything I have done, but because of God’s grace.  It is in the brokeness and the darkness that God has taught me to be more honest and real about who He is and about life.  I am learning to love in a deeper more real way as well.  God is a compassionate God.

I will continue to keep you posted on how Don is doing and we continue to work in the direction of getting to Mayo sooner.  Please continue to pray for us, we so need it.

The day is coming when Don will be well again and the day that he steps back into the class to teach will be a day of celebration.  I look forward to being able to tell you all about it.